I've had many OBE's and lucid dreams since my last post, but none were interesting enough or important enough to post. I gave birth to my daughter, Eden, April 3rd, and have been very happily exploring the joys of motherhood.
This morning, however, I had an experience I am making the time to type out to remember. It felt meaningful for the first time in a long time.
After getting up at 4am to soothe Eden from her tummy troubles, I finally drifted back to sleep around 6.
I am dreaming that I am laying down next to my sister outside in the woods in sleeping bags. We are camping together. I feel the vibrations take over me and know that I am going to have an OBE, and will project from this dream, with dual awareness of my body next to Erik's (and Edie's).
I float upward at high speed, freely and without worry but with a great sense of excitement. Instead of feeling true movement, the black universe filled with stars simply appears to me, blending from my previous reality.
I'm feeling bold, so I want the volume turned up. I announce "I want to trip harder." In my head I'm thinking about the theory that out of body experiences are caused by a natural dimethyltriptamine (DMT) release in certain states of consciousness. Outer space becomes even more vivid with this demand. Again, I announce "I want to trip EVEN HARDER." Now I am moving with great speed throughout space. I am passing all kinds of advanced space ships, each very different, indicating different races of beings from all over the universe.
Now this experience is very loud, the vibrations very strong, the visual field so vivid that I am overwhelmed. I now shut off my perception somewhat and wait for it to pass so that I can enter dreams and get some rest. I am tired.
I move directly into a lucid dream. (A series of events occurs before the following, but I can't remember them). I am sitting next to a window. Daphne is to my right (this is Eden's spirit/soul that visited me in my first lucid dream about her while I was pregnant). She is, again, about 5 years old with blonde hair and a delightfully sweet and goofy demeanor. Below the window outside in the twilight is my dear friend, Mark. I wave to him to come up through the window. With amazing spiritual prowess, he runs and jumps very high, smoothly landing within the room.
Mark has an entirely different face, but I know it's him. Even his dreads are much much longer, draping down his back. We begin talking, and every word feels sacred, but it's all said discreetly as though someone else, the bad-person-I'm-hiding-from, may be listening. I try with great effort to imprint the words, which feel like codes, into my consciousness so that I will remember when I wake. Daphne is listening with fierce concentration as well. (Unfortunately, I don't remember what was said).
Suddenly Mark's face blurs and I know that it's time to go. I whisper, "It's happening. I'm losing consciousness," and I feel so sad to have to let this world go. He looks at me with compassion and tells me not to worry. It's okay.
Finally my consciousness goes subconscious so that I may rest. Although I fear forgetting the words by drifting off into lucidless dreams, I am a dead tired new parent. Each minute of sleep is precious and provides me with more energy to be a better mother. So I choose rest. And all is forgotten.
But the feeling of a meaningful experience remains.
