I woke up at 3am just needing to think. So I lay and thought, then I got up for an hour, and crawled back in bed to nurse and fell asleep again sometime around 4:30...
I dream a little dream, and then transition into vibrations with no hesitation about whether or not I ought to leave my body. Usually at this time of morning I would be filled with fear and feel menace in the room, but not this time at this hour. I go with it at the will of the gods.
I speed up the vibrations and as always, I am profoundly overwhelmed by their power and wonder if I can survive it. But they reach their threshold and I slip away from my horizontal form, floating backwards out of the room and into another world.
It is a world of my own creation. I can tell because the edges are blurry and the colors are not vibrant. It is a planet like Earth, only the size of the moon, with only one island of land. I dive into the ocean and when I reach the surface I swim on my back with total elation. In this world I created, there are no life forms inhabiting the ocean. It is just pure, placid, bliss without worry of any strange creatures. I play around here until I ache for something more, something real.
Suddenly I am standing on the ground below a shockingly vivid nighttime sky, filled with stars of gigantic size. I know I'm not going to be able to stay still under a sky so beautiful, so I propel upward into it with a heart full of aching curiosity. I ache for this beauty. This is a reality that exists without me. I can tell because the edges are sharp and the colors are beyond vivid; the colors are beyond the richness of the colors in my day to day reality. This is otherworldly.
I'm flying upward toward these stars, still within the atmosphere of Earth. I begin flying through thin layers of grey cloud, thin like layers of a flaky pie. But it feels like I am flying through galaxies somehow, even though I am still under the earth's atmosphere. There are brilliant colors behind each layer of cloud. Turquoise and magenta just brilliant before my eyes. I am full of wonder and awe to my toes and fingertips.
At one point, just before I could pass through the earth's atmosphere, it is communicated to me that I can go no further, and without a thought or a motion of my own intent I am falling backward. It is communicated to me that I am not ready to go further, and I accept it although I am tremendously disappointed.
At an instinct, I turn to my left to view the moon. It takes my breath away and fills me with curiosity -- why is it entirely black and yet brighter than the fullest of the full moons? It feels like foreboding. Not necessarily in a negative way, but a warning, or symbol of some kind of premonition. This black, bright moon is a very loud message just for me to receive. It is telling me something will happen. But what?
So I rush back to my body. I want to remember this experience and not slip into dreams so I have to hurry before I lose consciousness. Within seconds I am within our bedroom walls and I am counting to three to move my finger and start the process of waking up. Apparently my will to wake wasn't powerful enough because a mini dream drama plays out that I can tell doesn't feel like full waking, but I have fallen under the spell that I have really awoken.
This is the mini dream drama:
I turn on the lamp (there is no lamp in our room). Erik is sprawled out in a weird way on the bed, wide awake, as though he was waiting for my return. Eden is sleeping, but there is a curious form beside her. A newborn baby. I tell Erik a quick re-cap of the OBE, and he shrugs and says, "Yeah, but it's all just a dream, right?" Something feels off. I quickly realize I haven't woken up yet, and force myself awake.
Now I know what the black, bright moon symbolized, and I understand the message and the warning, and I have a thousand mixed feelings about it.
