The Dark Cloud

15 weeks pregnant and up at 4:30am 2nd morning in a row. Finally feeling sleepy again I rested beside my 3.5 year old daughter in the slowly dawning light of 5:30am.

I feel myself slipping into the familiar sensations of the preamble to a projection.. but they are subtle. My excitement almost makes me wake up but I breathe deeply to calm myself and focus on the vibrations and electricity. They stay and slowly get stronger and I am relieved because it means my body is getting some kind of sleep.

I float upward and notice an ugly, dark and foreboding cloud about the size of a basketball hovering to the right of my pregnant belly. It feels like it is there for the baby. I cringe but have no control of my floating body and try to dismiss the vision as meaningless. Moving effortlessly through the ceiling, I enter the black abyss of the waiting area. I ask the emptiness for help in healing and am assured that I am being worked on while I dream (I have a chronic illness I am trying to figure out). I ask to meet an angel or spirit guide and for the 100th time no one comes. It is clear to me that this dream is going to be directed by someone other than me. I am waiting for it to begin.

I cannot remember the dream I enter but at some point I float back into the bedroom and hover over mine and Eden's bodies sleeping in the family bed. I am magnetized to Eden's body and want to just peer at her beauty. As I approach I notice that she has the exact same beard as Erik and I laugh there above the bed at the absurdity of this dream. She is so vivid and clear. Fast asleep, she dreams and I watch her with swelling love. She becomes even clearer to me and the clearness shocks me into one breath of fear. The fear creates a disturbing vision: her eyes open and reveal solid blackness with intensely long eyelashes. Just pure, black shiny eyes. It is so crystalline clear that a part of me dies in shock and I am desperate to wake up from this nightmare. 

On the way back to my body I notice again the dark, gently moving cloud beside my belly. I am aghast with this dream. I need to bury it with my waking consciousness. Immediately I count to 5 and focus on moving my right forefinger to wake up and within 10 seconds my eyes are open in shock.