Meeting My Son Again

I went to bed last night spending some time just sitting up with the light off, sending my wishes out to the universe for an out of body experience wherein I would meet my baby again. I wanted more information and more connection. I wanted to understand why I was dreaming of a baby boy.

Around 3am I got up to pee and although I was tired, I lay awake for a little while before going back to sleep. Around 4:30 I slipped right into paralysis.

I never lost vision of the room, sleeping there on my left side. I begin the intentions of floating upward and my consciousness follows lazily. I'm at the ceiling, still facing the window, scared to look down at myself and see the hovering cloud next to my belly. I just want to leave the room to begin the "dream." But something is nagging at me to look down. So with courage I do. There, sleeping right next to Eden, is about an 18 month old toddler wearing light blue jammies. "Blue again! Jeez" I think. He is moving around in the bed and soon he is crawling toward the edge as I am floating down from the ceiling to meet him. 

I'm excited and already swelling with love in my heart for this child. Meanwhile I can feel my body back in bed with a tiny baby wriggling inside. I am so in love. 

He stands on the edge of the bed holding his arms up as if to say "uppy!" the way my daughter does when she wants me to pick her up. His eyes are big and warm, and.... brown! How can they be brown? Both Erik and I have green eyes. Eden has green eyes. I think to myself that this is a signal that this child could not possibly be mine. (I looked it up later and actually two green eyed parents can have a brown eyed child).

I stand on the floor beside the bed now and I communicate to him that I will pick him up and take him with me outside, but first I need to prepare.

I close my eyes and focus on manifesting a beautiful wrap. I find it under the bed. I pick up my son and put him on my back, wrapping him up inside the way I remember doing with Eden. But I don't remember it very clearly. So I close my eyes and manifest a knife in my hand with magical properties. It appears, but it's not very sharp. I keep my eyes open and force it to become sharp. I am amazed when it does! I then wave it all around the wrap which then tightens up and becomes safe to go flying.

While on the ledge of the window I explain to my son that we can't fly when we are awake, but while we dream, we can fly anywhere. I look out at my street and see a beautiful lit up world in the future. I am amazed by its sustainability and beauty. We jump and begin the great descent down the hill. My skills in flying are getting better. My confidence is great. I can feel the joy of my son behind me.

We go on many great adventures together. A lot of it wouldn't be interesting to read, but it was a significant and long experience with my baby.

At one point my daughter in real life woke me up for a few minutes. My husband took her out of the room to let me sleep in and I had a wake-induced-lucid dream wherein I re-entered that same futuristic world again and went to tell people I was dreaming. They were not interested. I went to tell them about my son and how he has brown eyes and that is not possible, they shrugged as though they didn't know that for sure.

The Dark Cloud

15 weeks pregnant and up at 4:30am 2nd morning in a row. Finally feeling sleepy again I rested beside my 3.5 year old daughter in the slowly dawning light of 5:30am.

I feel myself slipping into the familiar sensations of the preamble to a projection.. but they are subtle. My excitement almost makes me wake up but I breathe deeply to calm myself and focus on the vibrations and electricity. They stay and slowly get stronger and I am relieved because it means my body is getting some kind of sleep.

I float upward and notice an ugly, dark and foreboding cloud about the size of a basketball hovering to the right of my pregnant belly. It feels like it is there for the baby. I cringe but have no control of my floating body and try to dismiss the vision as meaningless. Moving effortlessly through the ceiling, I enter the black abyss of the waiting area. I ask the emptiness for help in healing and am assured that I am being worked on while I dream (I have a chronic illness I am trying to figure out). I ask to meet an angel or spirit guide and for the 100th time no one comes. It is clear to me that this dream is going to be directed by someone other than me. I am waiting for it to begin.

I cannot remember the dream I enter but at some point I float back into the bedroom and hover over mine and Eden's bodies sleeping in the family bed. I am magnetized to Eden's body and want to just peer at her beauty. As I approach I notice that she has the exact same beard as Erik and I laugh there above the bed at the absurdity of this dream. She is so vivid and clear. Fast asleep, she dreams and I watch her with swelling love. She becomes even clearer to me and the clearness shocks me into one breath of fear. The fear creates a disturbing vision: her eyes open and reveal solid blackness with intensely long eyelashes. Just pure, black shiny eyes. It is so crystalline clear that a part of me dies in shock and I am desperate to wake up from this nightmare. 

On the way back to my body I notice again the dark, gently moving cloud beside my belly. I am aghast with this dream. I need to bury it with my waking consciousness. Immediately I count to 5 and focus on moving my right forefinger to wake up and within 10 seconds my eyes are open in shock.